I need help removing her.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
How external is "for external use only"?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
