I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
