maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
