when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
there is glitter all over my balls
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
