9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
