i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
