How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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