my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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