i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You're breaking my sexual little heart
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
