I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
