Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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