shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
