The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you mean i was at the winter classic?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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