Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you win again, gameday.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
