Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
