1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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