she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
