Kiss
Puke
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize