I am spending my child support on dildos
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
