if only i could text you this smell
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize