Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
