so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
