I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
