So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
