Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
