please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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