She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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