I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
