i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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