i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
