sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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