Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
