He kissed a someone with a penis
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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