Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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