and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
