dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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