I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
