so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
