somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
