genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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