he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
