If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
