Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Never joke about your clitoris.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
