This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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