You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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