Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I supernannyed him into submission
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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