i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
