ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
