i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
