you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
