So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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