im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
