Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
