So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
