No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
