Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm like, not good at living.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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