I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You're a waste of cheezeits
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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