Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
