The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
And then he peed in my hair
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